michellesingleton.com // Confessions of the Preacher’s Wife

I love to exercise!  Yeah, I am one of those freaks that like to go to the gym.  I also like helping others improve their own health through exercise which is why I teach fitness classes at the YMCA.  You can find me there before the sun comes up ~ 5:30 am seems to be the only time I can fit a workout in my schedule between my responsibilities of being a wife, mother, chiropractor, blogger …

Have you ever met someone that you were afraid of?  Well, one such person began coming to my Y classes and … let’s just say she was a bit challenging!  She was known to walk over to members, including me, in the middle of class and yell, “Are you clueless?  That is not how you do it!” totally disrupting class.  I never wanted to get too close.  I was afraid of her.  She wore the same T-shirt every week that read, “DON’T MESS WITH TEXAS!”  Something wasn’t right.  No one else rudely disrupted class.  I decided to pray for her.  But all I could think of was, “God, please give Ms. Texas a flat tire so she will miss class.”  I knew that wasn’t right either.  So I began to pray for myself, that my attitude towards her would change. 

The next day my kids and I were reciting their memory verse, Proverbs 16:24 (NLT):  Kind words are like honey—sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.  I asked them to “shower” someone, who wasn’t always nice, with kind words.  They each picked someone from school.  Nathan asked, “Mom, who are you going to shower with kind words?”  I didn’t really think I needed my son’s help with kind words. 

After dropping my kids off at school, I headed to Target.  Who do you think I parked next to?  Yep!  Right next to Ms. Texas.  Nathan’s question echoed in my head, “Mom, who are you going to shower with kind words?”  I knew what I had to do. 

I tapped on her truck window, hoping she didn’t have a shotgun, and then said something like, “Hey, good to see you.  I noticed you’ve been working out really hard.”  She burst into tears.  “I want you to know how much I enjoy your classes.  I’ve been going through a tough time since I moved to Charlotte.  Working out is the only thing in my life that seems to be going right.”  I was shocked.  I thought she hated me and everyone else at the Y.  We talked and she shared her troubling journey.  Nathan and Juliana had similar results with their assignment.  I can’t help but wonder just how many people are irritable, angry or even depressed because it has been so long since they’ve heard a pleasant, kind word.

Maybe we all can help?   

Wishing you opportunities for Kind Words,

Michelle

It is a tremendous responsibility to raise children.  Here is an interesting email I received from my dad.  You may have seen it ~ it’s been around a few times.  It made me stop and evaluate how I am doing with my own children. 

Why didn’t we have a drug problem when you and I were growing up?”

God bless the parents who drugged us.

Moms, are we still “drugging” our children?

Blessings,

Michelle

Last Saturday morning Nathan came charging in our bedroom at 6:35 am (my one morning to sleep in) loudly announcing with a very proud voice that he had a gift for us:  “Bed & Breakfast!  And you don’t even have to travel for this, Mom!” 

Rubbing my eyes, I see a shadow resembling our son proudly carrying the breakfast he had made to surprise us.  “Wow, Nathan what a treat!”  I mumbled as I turned on the lamp to get a closer look.

And just what does “Bed & Breakfast” look like to a 10 year old boy?  A Pasta Serving Bowl holding almost an entire box of cereal, milk, a banana still in its peel, and a cup of green tea delivered on a cookie sheet with no napkin and no spoon ~ boys can eat without any “extra” frills.

Having no cash was no obstacle for Nathan.  Instead of buying us a gift, he chose to “serve” us his very own special take on a “Bed & Breakfast.”  And I have to tell you, it was one of my favorite gifts ever!  I don’t think I’ve enjoyed a breakfast more!  Or felt more loved!  It was so easy to see right through to Nathan’s heart.

So why are kids so good at showing love?  They typically don’t have much, if any, money.  They don’t seem to need it.  Their love is pure, simple and uncomplicated … from the heart.  

The Bible tells us in John 15:17 (NIV) This is my command.  Love each other.  Jesus’ words are simple, straightforward and uncomplicated!  Just love others from your heart.  Nathan gets this!  I ask myself, “Do I get it?”

Blessings from the heart,

Michelle

Friday Nights are Family Movie Nights at the Singleton House!  It is hard to beat having the kids home, watching a good movie and sharing a bowl of popcorn!  Does it get better than that? 

It just did!

Several friends were talking about a new dvd player called ClearPlay.  They claimed it played regular movies without profanity, violence or nudity ~ all the stuff that Hollywood adds to an otherwise “good” movie, making it Family Unfriendly.

It sounded too good to be true.  But being a movie lover, Rob went to Target and bought a ClearPlay to try it out.  It worked!  And I am not exactly sure how, but it seems that it contains some sort of filtering device which signals the dvd player to skip or mute certain parts of the movie. 

It takes out the “one scene” (or sometimes two) that you never wanted your kids to see.  And the language you never wanted your kids to hear.

Try it for yourself.  And let your kids know what you are doing too!  They will see your integrity ~ what you choose to watch (and let them watch) will match what you say they should watch.  And your Family Movie Night is honoring to God!

Everyone wins!

People with integrity walk safely, but those who follow crooked paths will slip and fall.  Proverbs 10:9 (NLT)

Enjoy your Family Movie Night … and pass the popcorn, please!

Michelle

In the Locker Room last Friday, the morning after Valentine’s Day, I overheard one girl ask another, “So, did you survive Single Awareness Day?” 

“What is that?”  I asked jumping in on their conversation.

“Oh, that is the one day out of the year when it is glaringly obvious that you are single…no flowers, no card, no date and no prospect on the horizon!”

She was right.  Valentine’s Day can really stink when you are single.  There was a lonely and vaguely familiar pain in her voice.  You see, it wasn’t that long ago when I was in her single shoes, waiting for Mr. Right to show up.  I kissed a few frogs that never turned into Prince Charming and as time passed, I collected a closet full of bridesmaid dresses.  Always the bridesmaid, never the bride!

Looking back, I was blessed with a wonderful single life.  God gave me incredible friendships and many opportunities for ministry and travel that would not have been possible if I were married with children.  For this I am grateful. 

But I can’t say that during my single years I always felt grateful for my marital status.  It got old being the 3^rd, 5^th or 7^th wheel when I’d go out with my married girlfriends and their husbands.  And yet, I recognized their kindness and thoughtfulness in including me in on their weekend plans.

For all you single bloggers, stay true to God’s timetable, which is never early and never late.  And I might add that His timing is rarely the same as mine.  But He is always on time.  I didn’t meet my “Prince Charming” until I was much older than what I thought I should be.  But Rob is so perfect for me.  God knew best.  Rob was worth the wait.

“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.  Isaiah 55:9 (NIV)

And for all you married bloggers, why not invite one of your single friends over this week?  You might be a bridge of kindness to an otherwise lonely night.

Hugs & Blessings,

Michelle

We celebrated Juliana’s 9^th birthday last week.  It was a big week of celebrating that included American Girl Dolls, Hannah Montana wigs, a Breakfast Date with Daddy, Shopping with Mom and Strawberry Cake!  We were also blessed with my parents and their willingness to drive 7 hours to be with Juliana on her special day.  

My sweetest memory of Juliana’s birthday was the Birthday Prayer.  That night as we sat in our family room, Rob spontaneously started a prayer for Juliana and our family.  Nathan jumped in followed by the birthday girl herself and then Ivy (her newest American Girl doll).  I prayed next, then my Mother and my Dad.  It was absolutely beautiful to hear 3 generations, and a doll, talking to God as if He was right there with us ~ and He was!

Family prayer is a tremendous privilege.  It is a terrific way to teach our children how to include God in our daily lives.  And we learn so much about each other when we pray together.  By teaching her doll to pray, Juliana showed me that she gets this.  And I think she will be a terrific mom someday!

God loves us dearly and desires to have a relationship with each of us.  With the privilege of praying together as a family, we are able to build strong spiritual foundations in our homes.

May God bless you as you take time to pray with your family today!

Michelle

Rob has always been great at remembering Valentine’s Day.  Our anniversary ~ no!  But always Valentine’s Day!  And this week he has been especially excited about planning a romantic weekend away for the two of us ~ a bit like a kid in a candy shop as he surfed the net checking out possible destinations.  “Hey, Michelle, look at this place I found.  It looks perfect!”  Perfect meant a hot tub for two and a big bed …  if you know what I mean.”  I know he is making up for forgetting our last anniversary (and that he wants a new truck) and I remember that he promised me a trip to the mountains. 

In my mind, I see us cross country skiing all day in the beautiful Vermont mountains stopping only to take pictures of the snowy covered bridges, a candlelight dinner, sitting by the fire and talking over our day’s adventure, then a hot tub and whatever naturally comes next.  But Rob informs me that he is tired and just wants to get away to rest and share his life with me which translates, “Cross country skiing in Vermont is out of the question!”  So I do the very godly wife thing and cop a bit of a ‘tude! 

As excited as Rob was about all the Bed & Breakfast Inns he had found online, nothing seemed quite as exquisitely intriguing or enticing as my Vermont Mountain Dream Trip.  Certainly not as romantic!  Poor Rob!  At this point he couldn’t win!  And I let him know it. 

Then Rob’s plans took a sudden turn for the worse.  He booked an inn in South Carolina, one that was near a Civil War Battlefield.  And come to find out, there is a “Battle Reenactment” scheduled for that very week-end!  “Now, Michelle, this is the perfect romantic getaway, don’t cha think?”  I was trying not to gag.  Could he be serious?  Had he lost his mind?  A Civil War Reenactment?  I’d rather put fishing bait on his hooks than see grown men pretend to fight a battle that was won over 100 years ago!  

I was explaining my disappointment to one of my older friends.  With tears welling up in her 86 year old eyes, Betty Lynn smiled and said, “Fred loved to take me to those old battlefields too.  He loved the history so much and I enjoyed seeing him take it all in although I never cared for Civil War History myself.  What I wouldn’t give to travel to a reenactment with my Fred again.”  Fred had fought his own battle ~ and lost ~ to cancer about 2 years ago.  He and Betty Lynn were married for 62 years.

And so God used a lonely widow to show me how self-centered I had become and what a horrible job I was doing with His “Love List” (from yesterday’s post). 

When I see Rob through the eyes of Betty Lynn, I realize how very blessed I am to have a man who wants to rest with me and share his life (including his Civil War passion) with me. 

Looks like Rob planned the “perfect trip” afterall!

Forgive me, God, for making it all about me.  Help me to put others first, and help me to love them the way You love me.

Still Working on His Love List,

Michelle

I love lists!  Really, I do.  Give me a “To Do” list and I feel a sense of power because I have a game plan for success and a way to measure my productivity.  Last night I stayed up late finishing my Valentine’s Day preparation “to do” list: 

Help the kids address Valentines for their classmates.

Wrap the teachers’ valentines.

Set out Home Valentine’s Day decorations.

Bake a heart shaped brownie.

Go to Harris Teeter and buy a heart shaped brownie to replace the one I over-baked.  (Rob and the kids love brownies and I am cursed when it comes to baking brownies!)

Write Rob a love letter.

Wrap Rob’s valentine.

Wrap Nathan’s and Juliana’s Valentines.

Check.  Check.  Check.  Yep, everything on my list has been completed.  What a feeling!

However, in my Turning Point devotional this morning, I came across another list that made me realize I may not be as ready for the holiday as I thought.  The list is found in 1 Corinthians 13:4–7 (NLT) where Paul give us 15 ways of recognizing and demonstrating love ~ Paul’s list is a lot deeper and much more challenging than mine:

1.   Love is patient ~ it puts up with people and problems longer than one would expect.

2.   Love is kind.

3.   Love is not jealous.

4.   Love is not boastful.

5.   Love is not proud.

6.   Love is not rude.

7.   Love does not demand its own way.

8.   Love is not irritable.

9.   Love keeps no record of being wronged.

10.  Love does not rejoice in injustice.

11.  Love rejoices in the truth.

12.  Love never gives up.

13.  Love never loses faith.

14.  Love is always hopeful.

15.  Love endures all things.

Wow!  Now that is a list!  Pastor Jeremiah suggested that we read this list 2 ways.  First, read through the list and replace the word “love” with the name of “Jesus.”  It fits perfectly and gives us a “pen portrait” of what Jesus is like. 

Next, read the list putting your own name in the place of “love.”  If I am honest, this list is not as easy as my original list to check the items off.  But when God asks,  “Michelle, how do you love others?”  This is the list and the standard He has in mind.

How do you measure up?  I know I’ve got some work to do…..

Happy Valentine’s Day!

May God bless you as you tackle His “Love List!”

Michelle

My friend, Carmelita (not her real name), moved to North Carolina from El Salvador several years ago.  She came here to make a better life for her two boys.  “My country is not safe, very dangerous.”  She blames drug-trafficking and its related crimes.

Last week, with teary eyes, she told me her sister had died unexpectedly.  Carmelita explained she had not been back to El Salvador for many years for fear of not being allowed to return to the States.  “I could not chance being separated from my boys!”  For this reason, she chose not to attend her sister’s funeral although she desperately wanted to be with her family.  Her grieving mother asked, “Carmelita, is this how it is going to be?  Will I not see you before I die?”

I have never known the pain of choosing not to see my family because of the risk of dangerous consequences.  And I hope I never do.  But the question Carmelita’s mother asked has echoed in my mind, “Is this how it is going to be?” 

I thought of Mary (also not her real name).  During our single years, we were in a Bible study and did everything together.  Best of friends.   Her job moved her Overseas, I married Rob and we have not stayed in touch although I’ve tried many times to contact her.  I heard she made some unwise life choices and has walked away from God.  Maybe she is avoiding me because her life is not what she had once dreamed it would be.  Maybe she is embarassed.  Maybe she is lonely, hurting, afraid.  I have asked God, “Is this how it is going to be?  Will I never see her again?”

I do not have control over Mary and her choice to run from God and the people who care about her.  I continue to pray for Mary.  And I am confident that God is waiting patiently with open arms for her return.  His love is far greater than any distance we put between us and our Maker!  

We all have the freedom to choose how it is going to be with God.  Let us choose Jesus each day! 

Proverbs 8:17 (NIV) says: I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me.

Blessings in the Choice,

Michelle

Well here are the last 2 of Mr. Z’s Ultimate Compliments or as he calls them, “WOW Words.”  I’ve enjoyed “trying them out” on Rob although my garage has not yet been cleaned out!

9.   “Impressive.”

Guys love feats. They love accomplishments. They love being acknowledged for their strength, power, and, simply, their masculinity. So a well-timed observation like this one — whether it comes after he carries a TV to the family room or figures out a way to fix the pipes without having to call the plumber — feeds into his need to feel like the family protector.

10.   “I want you.”

Women don’t need to go on about a guy’s eyes or hair or clothes. What a guy really wants to hear is that he’s the total package, and this acknowledgement of that – whether it’s referring to bedroom behavior or relationship stability – is the ultimate compliment of them all.

I am blessed because Rob really is the total package.  I love him beyond what wow words could ever express!

Let me know how these compliments have worked for building up your man! 

Blessings,

Michelle