michellesingleton.com // Confessions of the Preacher’s Wife

 My grandmother, Elizabeth Victoria, died this week.  She was 83.  And even though the final chapter in Grandmother’s book has been written, like all good books, her life story will be read over and over again … in our memories, in our hearts and in our lives.  I learned so much from Grandmother.  She has played an important role in shaping who I am today, and what I am becoming.    

Here are some things Grandmother taught me:

1.   Sharing a good meal with the family is always time well spent.  The preparation sets the stage for family fun.

2.   Always serve dessert ~ the richer the better.

3.   Marriage is tough, but well worth it.  Remaining faithful and devoted to your husband brings great rewards and much joy in the journey.

4.   Make banana pudding every New Year’s Eve….just make sure to finish it before the ball drops.

5.   Keep candy for your grandchildren when they visit.  And ice cream too!

6.   Read your Bible every day.  Develop a strong conviction of right and wrong.

7.   Getting your hair done makes you feel beautiful, even if your diet isn’t working.

8.   When you open your Christmas gifts, open them one at a time — youngest to oldest.  While you wait your turn, eat lots of homemade fudge!

9.   When you need a good laugh, call your Granddaughter.  Just maybe she’ll bring her friends to visit for Spring Break.

10.   Might as well be honest.  You can’t pull the wool over your grandmother’s eyes!

11.   Celebrate babies!

12.   When it is not appropriate to sing, dance!

13.   Always give hugs….lots of hugs.

14.   At times your children and grandchildren will test you.  Never give up on them. 

15.   Dress like a lady and you’ll be treated like one.

16.   Save room for dessert….and a game of cards.

17.   Love.  All the time show love.  Sometimes it has to be tough love, but always, love.

18.   It is good for children to have chores.

19.   Live your life with integrity.  Your children and your grandchildren will copy it.  And your legacy will never die.     

20.   Most importantly, give your life to Jesus.  When it is all said and done, your relationship with Him is all that really matters.   

Through grandmother’s life journey, I saw that her true beauty was more than skin deep.  Her beauty came from within, from the very core of her being.  It started with her heart that was yielded to Jesus.

And God promises that if we ask Him to take over our hearts, like Grandmother did, by admitting that we are not perfect and that we have done wrong things (and we all have sinned), God is faithful to forgive our sins, heal our hearts and bless our lives.  He makes us beautiful from the inside out ~ like Grandmother.  No matter what we have done, His love and His grace are big enough to take even the ugliest of hearts and make them beautiful.  All we have to do is ask Him to.

God also promises to those who have yielded their hearts to Him eternal life ~ life in heaven with Jesus.

That is where Grandmother is, in heaven with Jesus, reunited with Granddaddy.  I like to think that she and Granddaddy are holding hands, smiling as they look down on all of us honoring her.  She has no more pain, no more confusion.

Grandmother showed me the value of a godly woman, a devoted and faithful wife, and an honorable mother.  This, is a noble legacy, a beautiful gift.  Thank you, Grandmother.

When Juliana was about 3 years old, I took her with me for a manicure at the local Vietnamese Nail Salon.  Rob and I had a black tie gala event that evening and I was excited about Rob wearing a tux!  Big problem… I had just refinished an old bookcase and my hands were wearing the mahogany stain.  Not presentable at all.  So being short on time, Juliana came with me for a manicure.

The Manicurists fell in love with my little princess daughter and I now realized I created a monster.   Juliana thoroughly enjoyed the pampering of her own manicure.  She has become a spa junkie and thinks we should go every week.  “It is just the thing for mothers and their little girls to do together!” she insists.

Juliana was very quiet during her first manicure.  The friendly Vietnamese girls chattered among themselves with their sweet singsong voices.  Juliana took it all in.

After our nails dried, we got in the car and Juliana started immitating the salon girls’ conversation.  She made up Vietnamese sounds, talking non-stop like a Chatty Cathy Doll ~ anyone remember Chatty Cathy?  I jumped right in with Juliana and the two of us bantered back and forth in our Made-Up Viet Speech for nearly an hour.  So much fun.  Silly giggles.  Our game stuck.

Whenever we need a good laugh, Juliana and I “Pretend Speak Vietnamese.”  Usually we play at home but today, we went to Target to play our little game.  One rule:  The whole time we were in the store, we would only speak our Made-Up Viet.

Talk about turning heads and funny looks!  We didn’t care.  We stayed in character until we got in the car with our purchases.  Then we laughed all the way home.  Serious laughter until we both had tears streaming down our cheeks. 

Proverbs 17:22a (NIV) tells us that a cheerful heart is good medicine. 

May God give you an opportunity for a dose of this good medicine!

Rob and I have very much enjoyed the Olympics together with our kids.  In fact, I’m rather sad they are over.  One of my favorite events to watch is the Decathlon:  An intimidating athletic contest comprising of 10 different track-and-field events won by the contestant having the highest total score.  What are the 10 events?

• 100 meter sprint
• 400 meter sprint
• 1,500 meter run
• hurdles (110 meter)
• discus throw
• javelin throw
• shot put
• pole vault
• high jump
• long jump

The decathlon is widely viewed as the most challenging track and field event, and decathletes are considered to be superior all-around athletes. Because of the highly demanding nature of a decathlon, the discipline is relatively small, and many decathletes are not widely known outside of the field.

In addition to being strong in each individual discipline, the athlete must be able to coordinate all of the decathlon events together, conserving energy in order to make it all the way through the 2 day competition.  Whew! 

What if God demanded us to win a “Christian” Decathlon?  What if He let us into heaven based on our performance in the following 10 disciplines:

• number of minutes praying
• time spent Bible reading
• $ amount of our giving
• number of ministries we serve in
• how many people we lead to Christ
• small group participation
• displaying genuine joy
• number of peaceful words spoken
• amount of grace and mercy shown to our neighbors
• letting others go ahead of self

Would you finish the race?  Would I?  Like Bryan Clay, would we win the gold medal? 

While I aim for continued improvement in this Christian Decathlon as I grow in my walk with the Lord, I am so grateful that God loves me unconditionally.  When I win and when I stumble, His love for me never changes.  I can’t earn salvation or eternal life.  I can’t win His love. 

My gold medal ticket to heaven is a free gift from God ~ all I have to do is put my faith in Christ. 

Romans 6:23 (NLT)  For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.

This is the race I want to run…..Following Jesus…..I’ll win the Gold!

P.S.  Rob thinks it is really cool that he and Bryan Clay are both alumni of Azusa Pacific!

I love to set the table.  Really, I do.  Some of my girlfriends think I’m crazy but I don’t mind.  I still set my table as often as I can.  I have been known to set the dinner table at 5:00 am (yes, that’s right ~ five o’clock in the morning).

For me, a table set for dinner (or any meal) not only sets the stage for dinnertime order in our sometimes chaotic but loving house, but a prepared table also sets the stage for family interaction.  I love that!  The anticipation of family fun and togetherness is what it is all about!  We all thoroughly enjoy honoring each other at mealtime by listening to everyone’s stories of the day.  This part of a meal is better than any dessert! 

Last weekend, my parents brought Nathan home from a week long visit.  When they announced on Friday that they’d be at our house at 8am on Saturday morning Juliana and I cheered, “Having Nathan home will be like Christmas!”  We both missed him so much.

That is when my table setting madness took over.  With Juliana’s help, we got out the Christmas china, made our favorite Christmas Breakfast Casserole, and set the stage for Nathan to tell us all about his week of adventures with my parents.  And oh the stories he told!  What made it even more like Christmas were the gifts Nathan proudly presented us.  He and my dad took advantage of a wood pile and Nathan hammered out a bird house for me, a doll house for Juliana, a robot for daddy and a squirrel feeder for our yard! 

Christmas in August worked great!

May God bless your family with meals full of fun, stories and honor!

In an effort to preserve family interaction, we have a rule in our house:  No watching TV during dinner!  However, there is an exception to this rule.  During the Olympics, our TV is always on.  

Both Rob and I both suffer from Olympic addiction.  Yes, the late night coverage is killing me.  I have bags under my tired eyes from staying up much too late watching “one more event.” 

Rob, too, is showing signs of addiction.  Last night, we had the privilege of eating with just one of our children, Juliana.  Nathan was visiting my parents.  The exception rule was in effect.  Our TV was tuned in to Beijing 2008.

During the meal, Rob kept winking at Juliana as he scooted his chair closer to hers ~ inch by inch until he was practically sitting in her seat.  All the while Juliana and I were laughing at his attempt to get close to his princess daughter. 

Juliana and I were adoring Rob’s antics but I sensed frustration.  Finally Rob reported, “All this work and I still can’t get a good view of the TV.”

Juliana was shocked, “Daddy, you weren’t trying to get close to me afterall.”

Rob, looking a bit sheepish, hung his head.

Juliana and I laughed as we said at the same time, “Boys will be boys!” 

No matter their age! 

Enjoy your boys today!

Nathan takes after Rob — they are both avid readers.  Rarely can either one of them be found without a book in hand.   And Nathan has learned a few of Rob’s reading tricks.  One of them, not yet mastered, set Nathan up for a lesson I hope he won’t ever forget.

Rob absolutely loves to read in the bathtub.  I’m not kidding.  For him, it makes the time spent lost in his books rather divine.  Nathan tried it out for himself and guess what?  Like father like son.

Tuesdays are Library Days.  Happy Days for the Singletons.  As tradition holds, last Tuesday we headed to the Union County Library.  Nathan heaved his stack of books on the counter.  The head librarian began to inspect his books, placing the first eight in the return bin.  The last book caused her to hesitate. 

She took her glasses from her neck chain and held them to her eyes for a closer look.  “This book is damaged.  It is damp and I see mold.”

While I never saw the mold, the cover of the book was in fact a bit damp.

“Wait here,” she told Nathan. 

While she was gone I asked Nathan about the book.  At first, he couldn’t remember ~ go figure ~ then he admitted to finishing the book while he took his bath.

“That will be $22.00 to replace the book,” the librarian informed my son. 

Nathan look at me.  I smiled and said, “Son, I’m glad you’ve got some money saved up.” 

The librarian looked as shocked as Nathan, but I insisted that he take his own money to pay for the book.  As she took Nathan’s cash, she instructed Nathan to complete the Damaged Book Paperwork — four forms in all.

The quiet drive home was not like our usual cheerful trip home in anticipation of a few good reads.  Both kids were reserved and didn’t want to talk. 

But what a lesson for my son.  I explained that it is always important to treat things that belong to others with the utmost of care ~ and to return them in perfect condition.  And by all means, keep books dry! 

I hope Nathan learned his lesson.

Yesterday, I talked with someone who was serious doom and gloom.  The price of gas was killing her.  The economy robbed her joy.  Nothing ever went right for her.  She is a self proclaimed loser.  She has no friends.  People are out to get her.  She is a victim.  And frankly, I was feeling a bit depressed after our short conversation.

Later on, I ran into a friend at Harris Teeter.  Her life had presented her with many challenges:  tragic loss of her parents when she was in high school, her 3 year old son already had 2 open heart surgeries with another one planned, her husband lost his job and money had been tight for the past year.  But she has encouraged him to pursue his dream of starting his own business.  She is thankful for her friends.  She is happy.  Always smiling.  She is a victor!  And I was walking on sunshine after my even shorter conversation with her.

Such a contrast!  One woman was ruled by her emotions.  The other chose her emotions. 

Emotions are how you feel, not who you are.  My second friend had figured this out.  She chose joy,  even though she had many opportunities to choose otherwise.  She made a decision to conquer, to win.  Nothing would rob her joy.

I heard a pastor once say that the best way to help the doom and gloom folks is not to become one of them!  Very wise advise.

May we all choose joy!

Michelle

Everyone is talking about the 2008 Olympic Opening Ceremony ~ Spectacular!  From the 2008 drummers rattling the stadium with their beating drums to the acrobats dangling on ropes from the rooftop to the parade of the Olympians entering the stadium ~ it was Grand!

But the ceremony’s final moment, the dramatic lighting of the caldron by gymnast Li Ning and the following light show passionately shouted, “The flame is burning!” 

For 16 days the torch that has been carried all around the world will burn.  If the flame is on, the games are still on! 

What are you passionate about?  Does the world see your flame?  Is your flame burning for Christ? 

As Rob and I watched this first-rate ceremony with our kids, we were moved to a call of excellence.  The bar was raised.  We were challenged to do the same.  In all we do, in word or deed, with an audience or without, our lives should represent Christ with spectacular grandiosity! 

Last night we were sharing our day’s stories around the dinner table ~ one of my favorite pastimes.  Rob’s and the kids’ stories were very entertaining.  I was beyond tired and already having a hard time keeping my eyes open so my disclaimer for this post is that sheer exhaustion was preventing me from thinking straight.

Suddenly, without warning, I suffered a brain flash to my drive into work.  I was sitting at the stoplight in downtown Matthews and I glanced to my right. 

The driver of the car next to mine was just a goin’ to town, diggin real deep with great enthusiasm ~ picking his nose!  I tried not to look but I couldn’t help myself.  I never saw him flick, just pick.  The nose picker went nonstop for three minutes.  (I’ve timed the light more than once.)

This was all I could think to share.  Such a disappointing story for a pastor’s wife!  But Rob and the kids were rolling on the floor and their contagious laughter lead to more nose picking stories.  Yuck!

Silly family fun and belly laughs!  Something I love to come home to. 

And if you drive a white car and were at the stoplight in Matthews at 7:15am Wednesday morning, thanks for the laugh!

Love and Laughter,

Michelle