michellesingleton.com // Confessions of the Preacher’s Wife

The crazy holidays are here!  I love them… busyness and all. But I must admit that there are times when I wonder what it might be like to run at a slower pace during this festive season. 

Our first holiday gathering happened the week of Thanksgiving.  I called our house on my way home from my office.  It had been a long day and I didn’t get away as early as I had hoped.  Nathan answered.  “Nathan, this is urgent.  Please unload the dishwasher, tidy up the family room and anything else you see out of place.  Oh, and make sure everyone made their beds.  Our guests will be arriving about the time I walk in the door.”

“No, Mom, that won’t be possible.  But thanks for calling.”  He hung up.

That is just something you just don’t do or say to your mother!  I called back immediately ready to let Nathan “have it.”  Busy signal.  I hit redial.  Still busy!  Unbelievable!

I drove the rest of the way home going over in my mind everything I needed to do before our guests arrived — which should be any minute —  and that included issuing a major consequence to my son!  He’d be lucky to live to tell about it.

Once in the garage, I bolted into the house — not even sure I turned the car off.  I couldn’t believe it!  Our home was in perfect order!  Nathan and Juliana had gone beyond the extra mile to make certain everything was just the way I liked it.

I was more than pleased — elated!  My eyes welled up with tears over the love my children had shown through their kind deeds.

Ding Dong!  Our company was here and I was ready.  My kids made me look real good and I had to give them credit!

Guess that is another blessing from families — making each other look good!

The day after Thanksgiving is when the Singletons drag out all the Christmas decor.  It is pure madness.  Boxes everywhere, shrills of delight as we unwrap favorite ornaments, the annual tree torture (as Rob calls setting up the tree), hanging garland, holiday movies and more…

You can bet I am on task — on purpose — I want the job done, the house twinkling with Christmas lights and the boxes back up in the attic.  My family calls me Atilla the Christmas Hun.  It is not a compliment.  And it’s not a Norman Rockwell scene.

Rob and the kids would rather take 4 days to get the decorations up and live amidst chaos and clutter everywhere.  This is a small source of Singleton tension each year.  I also know that I lose Rob from the Monday after Thanksgiving until Christmas day — he’s “out-of-pocket” — a pastor’s busiest time of the year.

All that being said, I tried extra hard to make the day fun and run smooth — even kept my mouth shut when Rob took a nap! 

And walah!  Christmas arrived at the Singleton’s home faster than usual.  Strider took his place under our tree as we watched a few of our family favorite Christmas movies like Elf and The Grinch. 

And then, Rob and the kids declare, “Our home looks like Christmas ~ thanks mom/honey!”  Once again, I am reassured that the efforts were worth it!

As always, this is my favorite week-end of the year!

Continued from yesterday:

And then the challenge which I will not forget:

If all you had today was what you thanked God for yesterday, what would you have?

I shared this with my children as we drove to school.  They were quiet.  We all had so much to think about!

Nathan spoke up first.  “I’d have a lot, mom.  I always thank God for ‘everything’ when I pray.”  And he does.  Nathan continues to culivate a heart of gratitude.

But I felt we should talk this out a bit more.  So I shared how God does honor a grateful heart, but also the importance of acknowledging individual thanks for our many blessings as opposed to a blanket statement.  Not for God’s sake, but for our own.  For when we list our blessings individually, we really see how God’s goodness touches our lives.

I grew up singing a hymn in church called “Count Your Blessings.”  It is a wonderful song written by John Oatman (first published in 1897) about this very thing — perfect for Thanksgiving.

Here is the chorus:

Count your blessings, name them one by one,
Count your blessings, see what God has done!
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
Count your many blessings, see what God has done!

At 5:07am as I was driving to the gym, I tuned into FLT and caught an interview with Nancy Leigh DeMoss author of Choosing Gratitude.  She was encouraging listeners to prepare their hearts for Thanksgiving by “choosing gratitude.” 

And how does one choose gratitude?  Several suggestions were given but these stuck in my mind:

1.  To see our complaining as sin against God.  (It’s what kept Moses from the Promised Land.)  And it also is indicative of a self-centered, entitlement oriented mind.  And whining totally breaks the command of one of my favorite verses: 

Philippians 4:8 (NIV) Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things

2.  To continually rejoice in the Lord giving thanks for common mercies including: eyesight, health, sunshine, roof over our heads, a smile, a flower to pick… simple everyday gifts from God.  Another favorite verse from that same chapter:

 Phil. 4:4  Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!

3.  To thank Him as well for the Biggies: eternal life, being reunited with family and friends who have gone to heaven ahead of us, treasures in heaven…

Charles H. Spurgeon put it this way nearly 150 years ago:

Let us bless God for the eyes with which we behold the sun, for the health and strength to walk abroad in the sunlight; let us praise him for the mercies which are new every morning, for the bread we eat, for the raiment which clothes us, for houses which give us shelter; let us bless him that we are not deprived of our reason, or stretched upon the bed of languishing; let us praise him that we are not cast out among the hopeless, or confined amongst the guilty; let us thank him for liberty, for friends, for family associations and comforts; let us praise him, in fact, for everything which we receive from his bounteous hand, for we deserve little, and yet are most plenteously endowed.

“His mercy endureth forever:” every morning’s light proclaims it, the beams of every moon declare it; every breath of air, every heaving of the lungs, every beating of the pulse, are fresh witnesses that “his mercy endureth for ever.”

From a sermon entitled “A Song, A Solace, A Sermon, And A Summons” delivered December 29, 1867

And then the challenge which I will not forget:

If all you had today was what you thanked God for yesterday, what would you have?

I shared this with my children as we drove to school.  They were quiet.  We all had so much to think about!

Our family is preparing for a mission trip early next year.  We will be ministering to the Mayan villages where most of the villagers live in huts — which translates no running water and no electricity.  Southbrook Church is partnering with Sandra’s House Mayan Ministries and Samaritan’s feet to provide village block parties (similar to VBS), gospel presentations and the distribution of hundreds of shoes to the impoverished children and adults throughout the Mexican Yucatan region.

When my kids were younger, it was a really big deal to count all the way to 100 by “ones.”  It was a milestone for my children in their list of accomplishments!

I still encourage my kids to count.  It is something I do myself in my own quiet time.  I call it the Thanksgiving Exercise.  I write down the many things I am thankful to God for providing in my life, listing them one by one.  And I don’t stop until I hit a multiple of 100… then 200… then 300… and so on… I am amazed how quickly the list grows and the numbers add up!

As I write them down one by one, I see that I do have so much to thank God for.  Will you join me in counting your blessings one by one?

May God bless you with a beautiful Thanksgiving!

Did you ever have one of “those” days?  A day when nothing went right?  Well, that was last Saturday for the Singleton family.  Rob had some unexpected challenges to deal with that gutted his heart, Nathan’s soccer tournament did not go as we had all hoped, and Juliana wasn’t getting her way anywhere she went.  As for me, I started off the day burning the toast.  It was downhill from there.  As I type, it doesn’t sound like much, but the negative bombs kept dropping on the Singletons all day long.

After the soccer tournament, Rob headed to his office to “finish up” some “stuff.”  I headed home with the kids.  It was late and we needed something positive, something fresh, to take our minds off the negative that bombarded us all day.  I offered to make the kids homemade pizza.  That got the first smile of the day… and cheers… and no mention was made of my morning toast!  

The kids picked out a movie and the three of us just hung out.  It was great to be home and together.  We talked through the day trying to find the good in the day’s events and how we could turn the not so good around.  We concluded that God was still on His throne and in control of our lives regardless of how we had been disappointed or hurt.  We had a very calm, relaxing and peaceful night — cozy family time as I like to call it.  Our home was truly a refuge from the storm where we were not only safe, but encouraged. 

We hated that Rob couldn’t be part of our night, so we prayed for him.  Turns out he ended up at a restaurant to grab a bite to eat while he worked.  He was able to complete his work unusually fast  When he asked for the check, the waiter said that someone in the restaurant had paid for his meal and wished to remain anonymous.  Rob looked around to see if he knew anyone there.  Rob wanted to thank them but he didn’t recognize anyone.  That kind gesture gave Rob a huge boost of encouragement at just the right time.  God had answered our prayers for Rob.  [And if Anonymous Giver reads my blog, a special thank you for encouraging Rob through buying his dinner.]

As moms and wives, one of our important jobs is to keep our home a safe place — a haven from the storms of life where each family member can return expecting nuggets of encouragement and acceptance, even after the worst of days.  That’s where families shine.  No matter what happens outside the home, families bring us together to bask in the warmth of unconditional love.

Before Nathan went upstairs for bed he said, “Mom, thanks for talking me through my day.  I’m better now.” 

With the help of God and His grace, our Sunday was a much different day!  Thank you God for families.

What do you crave?  Something salty?  Sweet?  Pickles?  I’ve had times when I craved all of the above.  Recently, my deepest craving is for more time with Rob.  Last week we celebrated our 14^th anniversary and even after all these years with kids, church development, chiropractic practice and all that goes with the busyness of life, I long for more time with Rob.  And for the record, I see him everyday!

Lately, with the colder (and rainy) weather, we have a new evening routine.  After the kids are finally in bed, Rob and I sit by the fire with a mug of mocha and talk.  It is the absolutely best part of the my day!  And it doesn’t matter what we talk about: our dreams, frustrations, challenges, the kids, bills, funny scenes from movies, Southbrook, our next vacation… it just doesn’t matter.  What does matter, is that I am with Rob!

I never tire of Rob and I can never get enough time with him.  I am so very thankful to God for blessing me with such a remarkable man to journey with through life.  Love you, honey!

One of the nice things about grounding my kids is that I get to spend time with them in our home.  When a kid is grounded at the Singleton house, the punishment is accompanied with a long list of chores.  Of course, it is free labor for us parents, but more importantly, it gives my kids time to think about their words or deeds that got them the punishment.  I have noticed there is a “sweetness” that overcomes both of my children as they become absorbed with their chores.  Seriously!  Their attitudes become pleasant and they seem to want to do a good job on whatever task is at hand.

Perhaps God looks for a similar “sweetness” in us.  During times when we are absorbed with the tedious and menial tasks of life (laundry, cooking, cleaning), are we overcome with sweetness?  Am I?  Do I focus on God’s Word and learn from Him?  Do I gain understanding and learn to hate all paths which lead me away from Him?

The Bible tells us in Psalm 119:102-104 (NIV) I have not departed from your laws, for you yourself have taught me.  How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!  I gain understanding from your precepts;  therefore I hate every wrong path.

If grounding my children helps them stay on the right path and think about God’s word, then perhaps I should ground them more often!  Just kidding, kids!  But that is one of my prayers for my children, that they would gain their understanding from the Word of God!

OK  Something’s up.  Every time I turn around, I am embarassing myself.  Yesterday at the soccer game, today at the polls.  It was a small mayor election in Monroe.  And I learned from my own mother that if you don’t exercise your American right (or as she put it “duty”) to vote, you have no right to complain. 

Well, in the purest desire of being a “good citizen,” I studied up on the candidates and proceeded to the small baptist church fellowship hall which houses my precinct on election day.  I proudly stepped up to the table and stated my name and address. 

“No such listing,” proclaimed the poll worker. 

“There must be some mistake,”  I insisted.  “I voted here last year.” 

He checked again.  Nope.  Michelle Singleton wasn’t listed in the book.  The elderly gentleman working the book asked for my address again.  I confidantly gave it to him.

“Honey, (it’s not good news when an elderly poll official begins his sentence by calling you honey), you don’t live in the city of Monroe.”

“I don’t?”

“No dear, you live in the county.  You have to live in the city to vote for the mayor.” 

I knew Rob had moved us out to the country.  And just because my mailing address is Monroe and I have city water doesn’t mean I live in the city.  Of course not!  With an embarassingly red face, I politely apologized and began making my way towards the door.  I wanted to run or put on my invisible cloak, but I was grateful to be the only potential voter in the fellowship hall. 

As I turned the door handle to make my exit, all four poll workers waved me along.  “Thanks for trying to be a good citizen.” 

“Yeah, honey, thanks for trying!”

You can bet that next year, I will be politically correct with my poll appearance.